Sunday, September 03, 2006

My own cynicism--Part One

Ok, I will admit, I have become more and more of a cynic as time has gone on. When I was young, I would take everything at face value, but not anymore.

Somehow, and for the life of me, I don't know how this happened, but on my Saturday show on WFAD in Middlebury, I got into the topic of the obese. As we all know, this society is starting to explode. More and more, I see these massive people raiding the grocery stores of chips, dip, and anything that says "HIGH in fat!!!" Why is it that these lazy people feel they must clog their arteries, cause potholes from walking, and deplete the financial resources of insurance companies? Yes piggies, your fat costs us money. Things like diabetes, heart disease, blown knees, (Hey, I am a skinny former athlete, so we can't go there with my blown wheel.) and every other disease we can attribute to being fat costs us money!! Now, why are we like this? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm......

1) We are a society who thinks we should be catered to, and we can do what we want. We can now order pizza from our remote controls, there are recliners that have refrigerators, and the thought of actually walking to the store makes us want another donut. We are lazy slobs!!!!! Walk to the stinking fridge or if you need to go two blocks to the store to get Twinkies, WALK!!! I see so many people who will get in their cars for that two block trip, drive around for a parking spot for 20 minutes, and then get a motorized cart to wheel themselves around the store because walking may actually get some blood flowing. Give me a break......

2) We love being slobs. Food is a symbol of something in this society. Just listen to the ads on ESPN Radio. There is one ad that focuses on salty food and hot dogs as a reason to enjoy a football game. Oh yeah, that is why I watch football, it is an excuse to eat!! Forget the game, forget hanging out with people, it is for the pretzles, pizza, burgers and beer. GAG!!!!!!!!

Lay off the freaking donuts and go for a walk dammit!!! It may hurt for awhile, but it is good for you!! Exercise off those balls of gooey fat, but don't eat chips while doing it. It KILLS me that I can't exercise as much as I used to because of my darn knee. I love walking with my wife, playing softball, and getting out. I go insane because the best I can do are knee bends for physical therapy without feeling like my knee will explode like an atom bomb. Exercise is good!! My cholesterol is a buck 65, resting heartrate is 58, and I will be like the rest of the family and live to be 95. Yes, I eat Burger King before I do play by play or color for a game, but it is my ritual, I do it once a week, but to serve my penance, I park at the OPPOSITE end of the parking lot and walk to the field. Oh yeah, I also do a lap around the field when the knee lets me.

Can you tell I am sick of fat people? They make me gag, vomit, etc. It is so bad nowadays that there is a woman in Florida who sued a hospital because after she had her stomach stapled, she raided the fridge in the nurses station. She sued because they did not lock the fridge and could therefore eat to her heart's content. Oh yeah, her staples broke. THE CHIPS MADE ME DO IT!!!! THEY CALLED ME!!!!! IT IS THE HOSPITAL'S FAULT I HAVE NO &#%ING SELF CONTROL!!! My point is, these people can't even blame themselves for being fat slobs, they have to blame others.

I am going back to my couch, game, and ice bag now. I walked around the fair yesterday for four hours and the knee is telling me how much of a moron I am. Why did I do it? I am stubborn, stupid, and needed the exercise. The latter of the three was a good thing though. Fresh air is always a beautiful thing. As a side note, someone at the fair saw me dragging the knee from hell around and offered me a wheelchair. I wouldn't take it and started laughing because I saw a 500 pound thing in a wheelchair because they were so fat. The conversation I overheard was "I'm hungry, I need a blooming onion."........

No comments: